TIPS FOR RESOLVING CONFLICT IN YOUR LIFE
Conflict happens whenever you have people with different expectations. Conflict can be avoided if the parties take steps early in the discussion to diffuse anger and facilitate communication. Wouldn’t it be great if individuals and companies could resolve these disputes before each side spent hundreds of thousands in litigation costs, the employee was terminated or before the customer or working relationship was gone by the wayside? Here are some tips to avoid and resolve disputes in the early stages, before they become major issues to be dealt with.
- STAY CALM – The thing that leads to conflict is escalation. Anger is not your friend.
- LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND – the only way to settle or solve the dispute is to listen and hear carefully to what the other person has to say.
- ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE – find common ground or create them between you and the other person.
- STATE YOUR CASE TACTFULLY – help people understand your perspective without making them defensive. Own what is yours, don’t hesitate to apologize.
- SEPARATE THE PEOPLE FROM THE PROBLEM – You will be heard better and improve your chances of resolving the issue if you can catch yourself and take the zingers out.
- AVOID THE BLAME GAME – Figuring out whose fault something is does not do any good if the goal is to fix a problem.
- FOCUS ON THE FUTURE, NOT THE PAST – The secret to dispute and conflict resolution is to treat it like problem solving and focus on what can be done to resolve the problem.
- ASK THE RIGHT KIND OF QUESTIONS – Ask open ended questions – those that require more than a “yes or no” answer.
- PICK YOUR BATTLES – Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
- LINK OFFERS – I can do this, or I can do that. Which opportunity best fits what you need and want?
- BE CREATIVE – Brainstorm opportunities to resolve the problem; think outside the box.
- BE CONFIDENT – You can do this!! Don’t shy away from the process.
- CELEBRATE AGREEMENT – the key word is Agreement; work toward a “Win – Win” whereby BOTH parties rebuild trust.